Brown Bulletin End of Year 2018

Editor: Yarrow Al'Vare

Note from the Brown Mind

We are fast approaching the end of another year. If you live in a place where Christmas is widely celebrated, you are probably being bombarded with bad renditions of the same 20 utterly unimaginative Christmas songs whenever you dare to leave the house. If you live somewhere where Christmas is not celebrated… well, right now I envy you. I enjoy Christmas music, just not All. The. Time. If you, like me, want a distraction from the same old annoying songs, or simply want something to amuse you for a few minutes, read on!

Brown Birthdays

Happy birthday to our November and December babies!

November Babies

• Thalya Nyale – 4th
• Jeryn Lekar – 5th
• Shara Nevan - 6th
• Keladria Tulin – 10th
• Allin Sha'maer – 17th
• Sindra Bell – 17th
• Robertus Cain – 19th
• James Davion – 21st
• Rinwyn Sihrera – 22nd
• Leira Galene – 22nd
• Nethanel al'Tere – 25th
• Cassie Dainar – 29th

December Babies

• Jenalla Selar – 6th
• Avery d'Itkarya -18th
• Calen Velervron – 22nd
• Naomi al'Moranwin – 25th
• Marlinya Nedruine – 28th

Brown Outs

"I got in the elevator with all my dry cleaning that I just picked up, and a lady got on with me. I hit floor 6 and she hit floor 3. But then I got distracted with my thoughts, and so when the door opened on floor 3 I just walked out. I tried keying into my apartment for quite a while but it wouldn't work (it's an electronic key). Then the door opened and a very nice lady was like, "I think you have the wrong apartment.""

"I have been impatiently waiting for the holiday cards I ordered to arrive so I could actually write and send my holiday cards. I just tried to check on the order status. Guess what I never actually ordered?"

___-pissed: A Measurement System for Levels of Book Annoyance

A few years ago, we came up with a Super Scientific System* for measuring annoyance with authors or series. Some of you may remember it as a previous Brown holiday theme, but it’s too funny not to give a small recap.
*not really, but shhhhh…

GRRM-PISSED An unforgivable plot twist occurs which springs rage and betrayal within your heart. Optional: Reader throws book at the wall.

RPG-NOVEL-PISSED (Dragonlance, Forgotten Realms etc.) Whenever you read fight scenes, you get annoyed by dice rolling inside your head.

TOLKIEN-PISSED The author names a slew of characters all within pages of each other and they all start with Ar/Ap/An/Am. They are all fair-haired elves with bows.

JK-ROWLING-PISSED You've just finished a brilliant fantasy series with a brilliant ending, and then you read the epilogue. (Also see: Alison Croggon.)

JIM-BUTCHER-PISSED When the main character is always so badly injured and in pain that he/she constantly makes stupid decisions that he/she regrets later.

LAURELL-K-HAMILTON-PISSED Despite making millions of dollars, the author fails to hire a damned continuity editor.

BRANDON-SANDERSON-PISSED You finish a fabulous fantasy novel, only to realize at the end that you just read 1,000 pages of exposition.

TERRY-PRATCHETT-PISSED You finish the book, only to realize that it was just an excuse to publish ONE exceptionally witty (or groan-worthy, depending on your opinion) line.

And of course, a few of our beloved Robert Jordan…
ROBERT-JORDAN-PISSED (a): The characters have constant internal whining and self-pity, to the point where you're amazed you ever liked this character.

ROBERT-JORDAN-PISSED (b): The book is stocked full of clothing concerns, bathing, sniffing and folding arms underneath one's breasts.

In just a few short weeks (and how did that happen?!?!) we will sweep out 2018 and welcome in 2019. I do not know what will happen in the new year: none of us do. I hope that this new year brings you some joy, and I wish you good fortune in all your endeavors. With courage and luck we can make it through.

Until next year,
The Brown Ajah

Post Script
Or, further adventures of the absent-minded Brown Mind...

So, all the ___-Pissed were originally set up like this:
(ex.) GRRM-PISSED :
And I thought, OK, why is there a space between "pissed" and the colon? So I went ahead and fixed that.
When I previewed the bulletin before posting it, I saw this:
GRRM-PISSE
And I went "what huh.....?" and then clued in to the reason why the space existed in the first place.
The unintentional emote was too funny, so I added in the missing "D" and kept the emote, because